The Person I've Become
by JGong
Summary: Sometimes the only way to find yourself again is through those closest to you. Season Two. Lathan, language, slash, Scottcest. Chapter 4 is up finally!
1. The Lost

**The Person I've Become - **A Season Two Lathan Story

_Sometimes the only way to find yourself again is through those closest to you. _Slash, Scottcest, all that fun stuff. You don't like it, don't read it.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing except the concept.

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Chapter One // 

Lucas Scott was lost.

So much was happening at once and he wasn't sure how much more of it he could take. It was bad enough that he was recently diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, (or as the doctors had called it, HCM) a little present that Dan had given him, but now he was living with his estranged father so that his mother wouldn't find of his condition and so Dan would pay for this medication.

But that was only the top of the list. Nathan was going crazy now that Haley had left with Chris Keller on a tour. He spent most of his time drinking into a stupor and skipping his classes. Most of the time Nathan didn't even show up at school, leaving Lucas worried that he wouldn't pass junior year.

His mother was dating her college professor, Andy, and had begun to spend more and more time with him. Peyton was dating Jake, Brooke was with Felix. Hell, even Keith was dating someone. Lucas had tried to date Felix's sister Anna for a little while, but when it turned out that Anna was really a lesbian, Lucas broke it off.

Lucas was suddenly beginning to feel very alone.

&&&&&&&

It was a Friday night as Lucas sat in the bedroom that Dan had given him. Faint light came in through the window while he lay on his bed, eyes closed, trying to get his mind to stop wandering for a damn minute so he could possibly sleep. Sure it was early but the day had been stressful and all Lucas wanted do was get some rest and forget the day's happenings.

Letting out a loud gruff, Lucas turned slightly onto his left side and opened his eyes. His mind would not stop racing and it was beginning to piss him off.

Normally in time like this, Luke would call Haley and they would just talk. But Haley was no where near and wasn't answering her phone or returning his calls. Lucas chalked it up to her being busy with the tour, but in some respects was feeling a bit abandoned. His best friend had left without so much as a goodbye and was never near when he needed her.

Lucas shifted again, his long legs stretching down along the bed frame as his mind wandered again. This time he fell to Nathan. He was really taking everything hard. After all, he had given everything to Haley and she just walked away. Lucas worried about his little brother. His behavior was irrational and getting to be a bit dangerous.

Luke thought back to a couple days ago when he had went to go check on Nathan. He had looked horrible and the apartment was covered in beer bottles and other containers of various alcoholic beverages. He tired to get Nathan to join him for a game of one on one on the Rivercourt, but Nate wouldn't budge. Instead he declined, mumbling something about not caring about basketball and shutting the door in Lucas' face.

Lucas was worried, genuinely worried about Nathan, and kind of felt like there was nothing he could do to help. But there had to be something. Even if he was just there to talk, it was better than just sitting around worrying.

Picking his coat up off a chair, Lucas made up his mind to go see Nathan and to let him know that he wasn't completely forgotten. Mainly because Lucas was beginning to feel the same way and maybe he could bring Nathan out of this funk.

Lucas rushed down the stairs and slipped on his shoes just as Dan walked into the foyer, "Where are you going Lucas?"

"Out," was then followed by the front door shutting as Lucas exited the house and watched to his car.

Lucas wasn't exactly sure where to find Nathan at this hour. He had checked the apartment to find it empty, much to his dismay. This meant that Nathan was out drinking himself silly and who knows what that could lead to.

He had begun checking every bar he could find, each one of them another dead end road. Finally Lucas found his little brother at a seedy bar a few miles outside of Tree Hill. Through a bit of flirting and a miracle, Lucas made it past the front doorman, which freaked him out a little that flirting had actually worked. The things he learned from Brooke.

Lucas found Nathan sitting at the bar, nursing a golden liquid in a small glass. Lucas took the barstool next to Nathan's. The bartender walked over and Lucas just ordered a beer. He was a little wary that the bartender might as for id, but seconds later a cold beer was placed in front of him and the bartender walked away.

Lucas sat silently and took a sip o his beverage before speaking to Nathan who either was ignoring him or didn't realize he was there.

"It's a little early to be drinking the hard stuff isn't it Nate?" His eyes looked over at the brunette who had finished the drink in his hand and was now toying with the glass.

"Depends on what you define as early." A monotone voice replied, eyes still staring straight ahead. There was a silence between the brothers for a few seconds. Finally Nathan turned his head and looked Lucas dead on, "What are you doing here Luke?" He asked as he motioned the bartender to fill his glass again.

Lucas took another sip and shifted on his seat so he could look at Nathan better. "I was worried about you Nate. You haven't been yourself lately. I just wanted to know you were okay and not dead in an alley somewhere." His eyes fell down to the bar that was filled with scratches.

"Sometimes I think that would be better than what I'm feeling now," was the reply Lucas got before Nathan drained the rest of his drink faster than Lucas wanted.

Nathan looked over at Lucas once more, almost as if he was studying to see if he was telling the truth. "Well, it's nice of you to come all this way Lucas, but I'm fine. You can go now."

The bartender made his way over and filled Nathan's glass once more and stood in front of the brothers. "Should I leave the bottle?"

"Yes, No," Nathan and Lucas said at the same time. Nathan glared over at Lucas, but the elder never lost his resolve. Lucas eyes left Nathan's to meet the bartenders as he shook his head.

"No, he's good for now. Thank you."

The bartender's gaze fell to Nathan but Nathan said nothing, so he took the bottle with him and walked away from them.

Nathan looked over at Lucas angrily, "What the hell was that for Lucas?"

Lucas laughed and shook his head, "Don't you think you've had enough tonight Nate?"

The alcohol was building in Nathan's system. Sure, he had developed a tolerance to it, but with all he had had tonight, it was all building up and rushing through his blood system. He could feel the affects working on his body, not that he would let Lucas know that. "I've only had a few tonight."

Lucas huffed and turned fully so that he was facing Nathan head on, "Yeah, and how many before then Nate? How many other bars did you hit up before I found you here? How much did you drink at home when you should have been in school, huh Nate?"

Nathan continued to glare in Lucas' direction. "You still had no right to do that." His speech slurred as the alcohol in his system seemed to be taking full effect now that Nathan had stopped drinking.

Lucas watched Nathan and shook his head, "Nathan, you're wasted, c'mon you're done. We are leaving."

"I'm not drunk," came an unsure voice as Nathan raised the glass to his lips, finishing his god knows drink of the night. He had came down to set the glass on the wooden bar in front of him, but it slipped and fell to the floor below, the glass exploding on impact.

Lucas looked down and shook his head as Nathan started to laugh and started to call the bartender over to fetch him another drink.

"No!" Lucas said loudly as he pulled Nathan's hand down and pulled him off the barstool, "Come on, we're going home." The bartender looked at broken glass and then at Nathan. Lucas gave his apologizes and paid for the drinks and the broken glass as he linked an arm around Nathan's shoulder and walked him out of the bar.

It was hard at first, Nathan was resisting Lucas as hard as he could, but because of being wasted, gave up quickly. The door to outside opened and a chilly breeze swept over the brothers as Lucas continued to shuffle Nathan over to his car.

Within a couple minutes Lucas had Nathan by the passenger side. He opened the door and motioned for Nathan to get in. Nathan had an idea of his own however. He just stood there as Lucas walked over to the driver's side. Looking up, Lucas noticed that Nathan was still standing outside the vehicle.

"Get in the car Nathan." Nathan looked up and laughed as he continued to defy the elder Scott. Lucas was getting frustrated with Nathan in this moment, "I said, get in the fucking car before I push your ass in it." Nathan continued to laugh, but finally slide into the seat, leaving the door wide open.

Lucas shook his head and rubbed his temples before opening his own door and seating down and shutting it. He looked over at Nathan who still had the door wide open. He was trying everything in his power to piss off Lucas so that he would just leave him here and he could drink the night away.

Lucas' gaze fell to his drunken brother, "Are you going to shut that?" Lucas asked as he nodded towards the door.

Nathan just laughed and Lucas groaned. He then leaned over his brother to shut the door for him. While he was leaning over Nathan, his hand accidently glided over Nathan's jean clan crotch. This got a smile from Nathan as he then spoke.

"Whoa, easy there Lucas, we're brothers remember, unless you are into that sort of thing." A cocky grin was displayed on his face.

Lucas just sat back in seat and looked at Nathan, "Just put your seatbelt on." He then started the car and drove off to get Nathan home.

After about a half hour, Lucas parked himself outside of Nathan's apartment complex. He killed the engine and looked over at Nathan who had been quiet the whole ride home. Lucas was unsure if it was because he was still pissed that he had forced him to leave the bar or if the alcohol had taken full affect.

Nathan sat still, facing forward as his head bobbed back and forth a bit, "You okay?" Lucas asked as he took off his seatbelt.

Nathan turned in Lucas' direction and smiled, "Peachy."

The blonde open the door and closed it, quickly jogging over to the passenger side and opening it to retrieve his drunken brother. "Alright, c'mon Nate, let's get you to your apartment." Lucas spoke as he pulled Nathan from the car and staggered at the dead weight Nathan had become. Once he steadied himself and Nathan, Lucas locked and shut the doors.

The trip to the stairs was harder than Lucas expected. Nathan was to all but dead weight as he was dragged to the stairs, refusing to move on his own, or he was just that out of it, Lucas wasn't sure. The trip up the stairs was even worse.

Lucas had gotten Nathan to move up a couple of steps at a time, but at the speed they were going, it would be morning by the time they actually made it to Nathan's apartment. Lucas sighed and then made a decision. Pulling Nathan up by his legs, Lucas started to carry his brother up the stairs. Though it wasn't easier, it was much faster and fifteen minutes later, they had achieved their goal.

"God, are you heavy!" Lucas grunted as he set Nathan back down and began searching Nathan's pockets for his keys to unlock the door. Nathan just smiled again as he watched Lucas rummage through his front pockets.

"I guess you really are into that kind of stuff." He grinned as Lucas looked at him deadpan.

"I'm looking for your keys jackass, so that I can get you into bed." Lucas replied snippily as he checked the rest of his pockets.

"Oh, so you wanna get me in bed? Why Lucas, I never knew you wanted me in that way. I'm kind of flattered." A sloppy smirked was planted in his face.

"Shut up," Lucas snapped, a little tired of Nathan's gay quips. Reaching in Nate's back pocket he finally found his keys, "Got them." Slipping the key into the lock Lucas opened the door and pulled Nathan inside the apartment.

Lucas fumbled a bit in the apartment trying to get Nathan to his bedroom, his brother deciding to become dead weight again. Finally Luke got Nathan to his bed.

As soon as Nathan hit the mattress, he body feel over, his head landing on a pillow, as he laid in the fetal position. Lucas pulled his legs down and had begun to remove his shoes and socks when Nathan suddenly spoke in the darkness. "Lucas?"

Luke set the shoes and socks down at the bottom of the bed and moved closer so that he was kneeling in front of his brother, "Yeah?"

Nathan just sort of stared at Lucas for a minute. His facial features shown in the moonlight expelling in from the window, "I just wanted to say thanks. You didn't need to come to find me tonight but you did anyway and got me home safe. If you wouldn't of shown up, who knows where I would be. Thank you."

Lucas smiled down at Nathan, "It was nothing. You're my little brother; it's my job to take care of you. I was just worried and wanted to make sure you were safe."

The smile continued on his face as he saw Nathan smile. He then watched as Nathan slowly lead up towards him and before he knew it, Nathan's lips were on his in a small, but passionate kiss. The kiss broke and Lucas just started down at Nathan before he leaned down and captured his brother's lips again and his mind went blank.

TBC

**This story is AU with references to the show slightly. Next chapter is coming up in couple of days. I already have the next few ones mapped out in my mind, all I need to do is write it down. Also, if you could write me a review. It helps me know what your thinking and keeps me going on with the story. So if you want more, you gotta review. Thanks!**


	2. The Lonely

Disclaimers: See Chapter One

Chapter Two //

The kiss was intoxicating.

The feelings of Nathan's soft lips expertly working again his own as the kiss deepened made Lucas wish this had happened sooner. But of course with the hatred and jealousy between thembefore that would have been impossible.

A slight moan escaped Lucas' lips. Nathan took full advantage of the blonde's slightly opened mouth as his tongue collided with Lucas', creating a whole new sensation between the two. Lucas' tongue ran along Nathan's gum line as he explored every crevasse of his brother's mouth.

The taste of the cheap alcohol that Nathan drank at the bar fell heavy on Lucas' tongue, leaving a slightly bitter taste in his mouth.

The kiss continued a minutes longer before it broke. Lucas' lips were full and ruby colored as the blood flow to them had increased. By now his eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the room and his moment of utter passion had passed. He looked down horrified to see that it was Nathan, his own brother that he had been kissing.

Lucas slowly backed away as Nathan moved in for another kiss. "No," Lucas said quietly as Nathan's head turned to look at Lucas better and a look of confusion etched itself on his face. "We can't – I, uh, I shouldn't of kissed you. I'm – I'm sorry." Lucas stammered as he looked down at his younger brother.

The look of confusion was still contorted on Nathan's face as he rose slowly on the bed and propped himself up on one elbow. "Luke, you don't need to apologize. I kissed you first. And besides, it's not like I didn't want it. Otherwise I wouldn't have kissed you back." Nathan spoke surprisingly clearly for how much alcohol he had consumed.

Lucas looked down and came back up to meet the brunette's eyes. They were almost translucent in the pale moonlight. "But you're drunk Nathan and plus we're-"

"- brothers?" Nathan finished for Lucas. "Okay, one, I know I'm drunk right now but I am sober enough to know what I am doing and what I want. I knew I was kissing you, and I didn't care. And about the brother thing, how long have we really known each other as brothers? Sure, by blood we are, but in my mind, I don't really see you as my brother. We don't live together. We didn't grow up together. Yes, by genetics and all other reason, we are brothers but we don't feel like it to me."

Nathan grew quiet for a couple seconds before speaking again, "In fact, I think the reason I always teased you and gave you shit was because we had some sexual tension between us that neither wanted to admit. And when we got closer, that tension only grew stronger. And I know I'm not the only one who can feel it, otherwise you wouldn't have kissed me back."

Lucas stayed quiet as he continued to kneel beside Nathan's bed. His head was swimming. Right now you could probably ask him which way was left and he couldn't tell you.

Could Nathan be right? It was true that they did not grow up as brothers, despite the fact that they were. And maybe Lucas did feel an attraction to Nathan and that he was sexually attracted to his younger half sibling. What else could explain Lucas kissed him back so passionately?

Unless, it was just the loneliness. Currently both brothers seemed lost in the world around them. Nathan was without Haley; the one person who seemed to change him and make him into the better person he was today and without her it was as if the new world he had built for himself and Haley was falling apart.

And as for Lucas, it seemed that everyone else was too busy in their own lives and he was almost forgotten. He knew this wasn't necessarily true, that they would all be there for him if he really needed them, but it was beginning to feel that way.

So maybe that was it, that explained what had happened and why Lucas had kissed Nathan back. They were just currently two lost souls seeking comfort from the harshness of their own separate worlds and had found that comfort in each other.

The silence was deafening as Lucas continued to stare at Nathan. Finally, Lucas spoke, his words soft and unsure. "I think I should go."

Lucas rose to his feet and made his way to the bedroom door before he felt a strong hand on his shoulder, turning his backwards so that he met Nathan's solemn face,

"Don't go. I need someone right now. Please Lucas, don't leave. Please."

Lucas' eyes quickly averted down to avoid Nathan's gaze, "I can't do this Nate- I just can't. I need to go."

He turned again, expecting Nathan to reach out and pull him back in his direction but instead only heard his brother's voice, causing him to stop dead in his tracks.

"When Haley and I got married, it felt like finally my life was falling into place. I was emancipated from my controlling father and my neglectful mother, and I finally knew what it was like to truly be in love with someone. Haley became my world, that spark of light in the darkness that helped to lead the way to the person that I am today. I am the man I am today because of Haley." There was a silence as Lucas turned toward Nathan, giving him his full attention.

"And then Chris Keller came into our lives," Nathan started again, gazing down as he spoke, "and then everything that I worked to hard to achieve was taken away from me. The day that Haley left me to go on tour with Chris Keller was the day my world fell apart. That spark that I used to guide through the darkness that had enveloped my life was gone and I was left alone. It hurt me so bad that I became bitter and used drinking as a way to fill the void that I felt, hoping that it would numb the pain. And it did, to a point. It numbed everything else so that I could only feel the pain and nothing else."

Nathan took a few steps closer to Lucas as the blonde stood frozen in his place as he listened to his brother. "I was feeling so alone and abandoned. No one visited me to see how I was; it felt like everyone had given up on me and didn't care anymore. But then tonight you went out and found me and saved me from another drunken night of God knows what. You took care of me and made sure that I was safe, and you didn't have to. And then when we kiss," Nathan paused to look down before meeting Lucas' clear blue orbs again, "when we kissed, I felt something again. I felt loved and wanted and I haven't felt that in months."

Lucas stood there in awe as he watched Nathan slowly breaking down. He was slowly starting to shake and his eyes glazed with tears that threatened to fall. "But now, you want to leave and I'm afraid that I'm going to lose that feeling you gave me. Don't go Luke. Please, I just want to feel something again. Just let me feel again."

Lucas watched the tears trickle down Nathan's face and before he even knew it, Lucas' lips were on Nathan's again in one of the deepest, most passionate kisses ever. His lips moved against Nathan's as his lips parted and Lucas' tongue darted into Nathan's awaiting mouth.

Lucas couldn't really believe this was actually happening, but in a way, he didn't care. Part of him knew that this was wrong, that he shouldn't be kissing his brother. But another part of him saw his brother falling apart in front of him, begging Lucas to help him, so Lucas helped in the only way he knew how at the moment.

The kiss broke but it didn't take long before their lips met again as Lucas walked Nathan backwards to the bed. They both fell as Nathan bumped into the bed, Lucas landing on top of the brunette was the kiss continued. Only this time Lucas was starting a trail down Nathan's neck toward his collar bone.

Nathan let out an appreciative moan as Lucas began kissing back up the supple skin of his neck before he reached Nathan's face again. Swiftly Lucas pulled Nate's shirt over his head, along with his own and tossed them on the floor somewhere as he assaulted Nathan's bare chest with kisses and his tongue.

He worked his way down his chest, stopping at each nipple, licking them and then blowing gently letting the cool air harden the nubs. He then continued downward toward Nathan's abs, which were truly a work of art and showed his dedication to his body. Lucas gently kissed the area around Nate's naval before coming back up to meet Nathan halfway in another searing kiss.

Both gasped for air as the kiss broke, and Lucas heard Nathan speak. "Luke, I need you inside me. Now."

Lucas' erection rubbed against the fabric he wore as it begged to be released, but Lucas was still a bit unsure if that was exactly what Nathan wanted. "You sure?" He questioned.

Nathan only nodded and went to working on the button on Lucas' jean and unzipping them, letting the fall around his ankles, along with his boxers as Lucas removed Nathan's.

Lucas kicked off his jeans and boxer, leaving both of the brothers naked as Lucas leaned down to kiss Nathan once more.

"Luke, please, now." Nathan panted as Lucas kissed down Nathan's neck. Lucas quickly nodded and moved to position himself on top of his brother. Remembering something he read online once about anal sex, Lucas knew that he needed to prepare Nathan for the sudden invasion or he would be in a lot of pain.

Sticking two of his fingers into his mouth, coating them in saliva, Lucas slowly moved the moistened digits toward the cleft of Nathan's ass as he slowly pushed one of the fingers into Nathan's hole. He was met with a bit of resistance at first, but as he pushed in farther, the resistance lessened.

"Just relax Nate," Lucas spoke softly as Nathan nodded and Lucas entered another finger into his brother. He watched Nathan's face as he slowly prepared him. Finally Lucas thought that Nathan was stretched enough as he pulled out his fingers and looked up at Nathan. "Do you have a condom?" If they were going to do this, they were doing to do it right.

Nathan nodded and leaned over to the nightstand beside the bed and produced a condom and handed it to Lucas. Lucas ripped open the packaging and slowly rolled the condom over his aching erection. He then moved and positioned himself at Nathan's entrance, looking Nathan dead in the eyes.

"Tell me if I'm hurting you." He said as Nathan nodded.

"Just do it already." Nathan spoke hastily.

Lucas repositioned the head of his cock with Nathan's entrance as he slowly began to slide into his brother. He looked up to see Nathan wincing but not telling him to stop. Slowly, inch by inch, Lucas made his way into his brother.

"Fuck!" He heard Nathan yell and he stopped completely looking down at the brunette in concern. "Are you okay, should we stop?"

Nathan nodded no, "It just hurts, keep going."

Unsurely, Lucas pressed on, slowly pressing his hardened shaft into his brother until he felt the skin of his thighs touching Nathan's ass. He stopped to let Nathan adjust to the feeling of his cock inside him. Lucas himself wasn't ready for how tight Nathan was and the heat that encompassed his cock. Nathan felt so good around him it was making Lucas a bit dizzy.

He waited for Nathan's nod okay before Lucas started to move out and then slowly push back inside. Slowly and steadily, he thrust into his brother, signaling moans of pleasure from Nathan below as he slowly picked up a steady pace.

Lucas leaned down and kissed Nathan again before picking up his speed, thrusting harder into his brother.

"Fuck that feels so good Lucas." Nathan moaned as he began to stroke himself in time to Lucas' thrusts.

Time seemed to stand still as Lucas continued to fuck Nathan, increasingly picking up the speed of his thrusts and locking eyes with Nathan. Beads of sweat formed on their bodies, trickling down as every once in a while their lips met again and again.

It wasn't long before Lucas felt his climax rising, the tightness and heat of his brother becoming too much for him to take.

Both brothers' moans and cries of pleasure filled the apartment as they raced closer and closer to their impending climaxes. Nathan's hand moved faster and faster until he spilled his seed, landing on both his and Lucas' chests. Lucas thrust continued until finally thrusting hard once more into Nathan and reaching his climax, his release spilling into the condom, while he screamed Nathan's name.

Lucas collapsed on top of Nathan. Both were breathing erratically. Lucas leaned back to kiss Nathan a final time before he pulled out of his brother and rolled off into the empty side of the bed.

"That was amazing," Nathan said breathlessly as only Lucas nodded in agreement, still trying to catch his breathe and take in the moment. Lucas felt Nathan's body move and then he felt Nathan's body close to him, his arm wrapped around him, pulling him closer.

Both laid in their post orgasmic haze as sleep slowly came to them. Lucas felt his eyes slowly begin to close as he let sleep finally override his exhausted body. For the first time in months, with Nathan in his arms, Lucas finally didn't feel alone.

TBC

**Okay, so I know some of you are probably thinking, 'a sex scene already?' Yes, it is basically the catalist to all of the other events that take place in this story. So don't worry, there is plenty more to come. Also, I'm a bit nervous about this chapter, only because this is the first actual sex scene I have ever written. So, please be kind. Read my author info if you want to know why I am so nervous about it. But anyways. Reviews make me happy. I noticed a bunch of people adding story alerts and a couple favorites, but they didn't review. And I'm not saying you have to, I know some people don't like to, but I would really appreciate it if you did. Just so I know how you feel about the story and so that I know to continue. Thanks and chapter three coming soon... **


	3. The Mistake

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Chapter Three /

Rays of sunlight shone through the blinds that hung on the solitary window of the bedroom silhouetting the two figures that lay eschew in the bed. The blonde turned directly into the sunlight and squinted against the bright rays as he opened his eyes. Lucas put his hand up to shield the blinding rays as he looked around the room, trying to remember where he was. Slowly as his eyes adjusted against the brightness of the new morning sun, he slowly came to realize that he was in Nathan's bedroom; more exactly he was in Nathan's bed, naked.

Turning his head slowly he saw his younger brother asleep beside him, his arm lying on Lucas' bare chest. Carefully lifting the sheet that cover the sleeping brunette, Lucas quickly came to sudden realized that Nathan was, too, naked under the sheets. And then slowly, as the sleep that clouded his brain diminished the actions of the night before slowly brought themselves back into his mind, Lucas had slept with Nathan.

Feeling a sudden queasiness move into his stomach, Lucas carefully removed Nathan's arm from his chest and slowly got out of the bed, careful not to wake his younger sibling. Now standing, Lucas quickly found his boxers and walked into the bathroom that adjoined the master suite of his brother's apartment. Slowly closing the door, Lucas walked over to the sink and turned on the sold water, splashing some on his face before looking up at himself in the mirror.

_What happened last night that lead to me having sex with my own brother? _Lucas' mind wondered back to just a few hours before, trying to find the solution to the current problem he was facing. He remembered that Nathan was drunk, that he helped him home and put him to bed. He also remembered the small kiss they shared, and him wanting to leave. So what happened that lead to what had occurred between he and Nathan?

Sure Lucas had been lonely. In a way, Nathan was the only social contact he had actually had in a while and it had felt good to know that someone needed him again. With Brooke and Peyton having both moved on and he and Anna not working out, Lucas was feeling alone and needy. But to sleep with his brother, he couldn't even fathom the idea. He wasn't gay. Sure, he had had a curious stage like every other teenager, but from what he knew and felt Lucas knew that he was straight. _Guess you were wrong there, huh?_

Drying off his face, Lucas slowly crept back into the bedroom and redressed himself before quietly exiting the apartment. He needed to think, about what happened, how it happened, and what it exactly meant.

Lucas slowly opened the door to he house that he was now sharing with Dan, hoping that his father would be at work already and he wouldn't be asked about his whereabouts last night. 

Not that where he was was incriminating in any way, Lucas would just rather not be reminded of the incident that had occurred at his brother's apartment. But sure enough as soon as the door clicked shut, a voice sounded from the living room.

"And where were you all night Lucas?"

Lucas winced as he walked farther into the house and into the living room where Dan was sitting reading the morning newspaper.

"I thought that you would be at work already." Lucas said bluntly as he watched Dan fold the newspaper back up and set it beside him before looking up to meet Lucas' eyes.

"No, I don't go in until this afternoon, like every weekend. And you're avoiding the question Lucas. Where were you all night?"

"What makes you think that I was out all night?" Lucas suggested trying to see if he could just get out of this without the second degree he could feel coming.

"Well for one, you're bed was still made when I got up this morning." Dan said as his eyes surveyed Lucas from head to toe, "And two, you are wearing the same outfit that you were yesterday. So, where were you? A new girlfriend's perhaps?"

_Shit!_ Lucas thought as he looked down. Obviously he couldn't get away with this so easily. He wasn't even sure why he was afraid to tell Dan that he spend the night at Nathan's, after all they were brothers. But for some reason, Lucas had this impending feeling that if he told Dan, he would somehow know about what happened last night between he and his brother and then the whole town would know what a sick freak he was.

Looking down, he looked back up to see Dan still looking at him expecting his answer. "I was at Nathan's. I found him out drinking and just wanted to make sure he got home okay and to make sure that he didn't get sick or anything. I guess I must have fallen asleep or something."

Lucas stood still as he watched Dan. "Well, how is Nathan?"

"He's still pretty hurt. I mean, Haley did leave him only a few months ago. I don't expect him to be fine in just a matter of minutes."

"Oh, he'll be fine. He's a Scott. Pretty soon he'll get out of this funk, come to reason that he never should of gotten married to Haley in the first place, get the marriage annulled and be out getting any girl he wants in no time. You'll see." Dan smiled as Lucas held back the urge to roll his eyes. Instead he slowly turned and began to walk toward the stairs.

"I'm going to take a shower," he called as he ascended the stairs. Maybe a long, hot shower could help him sort out everything that was going on in his head with Nathan. Either way, Lucas needed to think about everything and how it would affect his relationship with his brother now.

* * *

Nathan awoke alone to sun shining brightly into his bedroom. He groaned and cursed the sun for being so bright. His head throbbed and it felt like he had been chewing on cotton balls for a majority of the night. Groaning again, Nathan put a pillow over his head to block out the sunlight before he suddenly realized something. He didn't remember how he ended up in bed, and naked for that matter.

The last thing he remembered was sitting in some sleazy bar nursing a drink and Lucas coming in and attempting to get him to quit drinking and go home. Nathan then wondering how exactly that lead to him waking up with a hangover and completely naked, and why also there was the faint smell of sex in the air.

Nathan normally wasn't having hangovers lately because there was never a long period of time where he actually stopped drinking in order to actually get one. Shifting slightly in the bed, he whined as he felt pain near his ass. Thinking hard, suddenly everything from last night cam e back to Nathan while still in his hung over state, he and Lucas had had sex.

It all came back, almost as if he was watching it like a movie. He remembered Lucas taking him home and getting him into bed and the feeling he got knowing that Lucas actually cared enough to actually get him home and make sure he was okay. He then remembered kissing Lucas and Lucas kissing him back, the kiss breaking, Lucas' attempt to leave and then his heart-felt, yet drunken speech that ended with Lucas kissing him and then Lucas fucking him as an attempt to "let him feel again," as Nathan remembered saying the previous night.

All these memories were enough to make Nathan's mind spin and with his hardcore hangover, it made him queasy, thus forcing him to run to the bathroom and vomit whatever contents were in his stomach. After emptying his stomach, Nathan flushed the toilet and then walked over to the sink, where he actually looked at himself, really looked at himself. He looked like crap, His skin had paled and he had bags under his eyes, which were bloodshot and puffy, most likely from coming down on his God knows how long drinking binge. He looked like shit and didn't even recognize himself as the great Nathan Scott he is, or once was. Now his title was in question now that he was in hiding and drinking away his sorrows.

But something had changed now. Something happened last night that Nathan hadn't felt in a long time. He actually felt something. For months now he had been walking around an empty shell of who he use to be. It was as life when Haley left, so did the Nathan he had become. But last night, he had that feeling again. That feeling of the new Nathan Scott, the one who actually was a changed man, and as weird and sick as it was, he had gotten that feeling from sleeping with his own brother.

Splashing some water on his face, Nathan looked up to see the same reflection looking back at him, only it was bit different, not so sullen as before. He was beginning to feel a bit crazy, to get the same feeling he got from Haley from his brother, but then he remembered something that he had told Lucas last night after their kiss, _And about the brother thing, how long have we really known each other as brothers? Sure, by blood we are, but in my mind, I don't really see you as my brother. We don't live together. We didn't grow up together. Yes, by genetics and all other reason, we are brothers but we don't feel like it to me. In fact, I think the reason I always teased you and gave you shit was because we had some sexual tension between us that neither wanted to admit. And when we got closer, that tension only grew stronger._

Nathan shook his head as he thought about what he had said the night before. Was it true? Was he actually attracted to his brother and never fully expressed it until last night, and was it the same for Lucas as well? Or was this a one time only thing? Just a quick fling to get whatever residual sexual tension out of the way so they could just move on with their lives and act like the whole thing never happened, or maybe it was the start of something more? It was the start down a dark and dangerous path with his half brother that for some reason Nathan wasn't afraid to venture. He had felt something last night and wasn't going to let this go until it was sorted out. But first Nathan was in need of some serious pain killers. Taking a few aspirin out of his medicine cabinet, Nathan quickly downing them with some water before heading back to bed; he figured he could talk to Lucas later. Right now all Nathan cared about was getting rid of this throbbing headache and annoying hangover.

* * *

The rest of the weekend went off without a hitch. Lucas had managed to avoid Nathan at all costs as he still tried to sort out everything that as going on in his head and what it all meant. Nathan however seemed to want to talk to him. He had left him numerous voicemails asking him if he wanted to go to Rivercourt and just shoot some hoops, but Lucas saw past the façade. He knew that it was only a ploy to get them together so that they could talk about what happened and quite frankly Lucas wasn't ready to talk about it, or even look at Nathan for that matter.

It was becoming strange. Lucas couldn't even think about Nathan without getting hard and the memories of what it felt like to be with Nathan flashing in his mind. His dreams were beginning to be plagued was with memories of that night and sometimes other fantasies of he and Nathan completely. Many of Lucas' showers were becoming cold thanks to this little factor and Lucas couldn't understand why or what was going on. Maybe Nathan was right, maybe they were sexually attracted to each other but never acted on it until a few nights ago. How one little act opened a Pandora's box of want, need, and lust was something that couldn't comprehend and was actually afraid to know.

But soon enough Lucas was going to have to face Nathan sooner or later, especially with school rapidly approaching. As Monday came, Lucas did all that he could to avoid being spotted by Nathan. And for most of the day it worked. Cut and paste to the final period of the day, which just happened to be gym, a class that Lucas shard with his brother. Lucas stood outside of the locker room for what seemed like hours. He knew that Nathan would be in there, undressing and putting on his gym clothes. The sheer thought of seeing Nathan nearly naked was enough to make Lucas' cock twitch. Sighing Lucas finally decided that he should enter the locker room, after all, Nathan wouldn't dare bring up that night in a room full of guys.

Quickly entering the locker room, Lucas found his locker and practically ignore those around him as he quickly dressed into his gym clothes and went out into the gymnasium praying that this final class would go quickly so that he could get out of the vicinity before Nathan caught up with him and everything that he had been dreading to happen would. Luckily, the class played dodge ball and Lucas and Nathan were on separate teams. As soon as class was over Lucas lingered a bit, not wanting to shower along with the rest of the guys, which included Nathan, and instead talked to Coach Whitey a bit about his plans for next season. When Lucas was sure that the locker room was empty, he quickly slipped in, showered and was in the middle of dressing with he realized that he was not alone.

He had just finished tying his shoes when the voice sounded behind him, causing Lucas to jump in the air slightly. "Why have you been avoiding me?"

Lucas turned his head to find Nathan standing behind him. Nathan had gotten tired of Lucas never calling him back and ignoring him at every chance he got, so instead of leaving class like the rest of the guys, he hung around, knowing that Lucas would come in thinking the coast was clear and then Nathan could come out of the shadows and they could talk, about everything…

Luckily Nathan's plan had worked as now Lucas was standing right in front of him. "I wasn't avoiding you, I've just been busy with a lot of homework and class." Lucas' eyes fell down as he attempted not to look at Nathan, who obviously was getting upset by this and pushed him roughly against the lockers.

"Bullshit! I'm in practically all the same classes you are and we don't have that much work to. You've been avoiding me and I want to know why. All I wanted to do was talk." Nathan spoke a little harsher than he thought he would. But he couldn't help it. All these feelings he was having, his dreams, his fantasies, how he just longed to have Lucas' body close to his again. It was all driving him crazy and he wanted to know why. He wanted answers and he couldn't get them if Lucas was bypassing him at every corner.

"Nate, you haven't been to school in the past month, how would you know what we have to do in any of our classes?" Lucas quipped back. Not that he would ever admit it out loud, but feeling Nathan that close to him, his hot breath on his neck, the forcefulness and assertive way Nathan was being kind of turned him on. But he chose to ignore it and deal with Nathan head on. After all, beating around the bush could only get him so far and eventually he would need to attack this head on. "What do you want to talk about?" He asked coyly, as if nothing had happened or was wrong amongst the two half brothers.

Nathan, who had taken a step back, but was still close enough so that Lucas couldn't escape until everything was talked through, laughed. "You know what I want to talk about. I want to talk about us, what happened the other night, what it means…"

Lucas rolled his eyes and huffed, "What is means is that you got drunk one night and I had a lapse in judgment. What happened that night was a mistake and should never be talked about, or brought up again Nathan."

"But I can't stop thinking about it, I can stop thinking about us. I can't stop thinking about how it felt to be with you and… wow I sound like a freakin' girl. See this is why we need to talk, to sort all this out Luke!"

Lucas sighed and looked directly at Nathan. "I know what you are thinking and there are three reasons why it would never work. First of all, neither of us is gay. We are both straight jocks who love to have sex with girl, lots of girls. Well, at least I do, and I know you did. Second, you are my freakin' brother! What we did is not only a sin, but a crime and wrong in so many levels. The fact that you even think about it still is wrong. We are brothers Nate, and nothing is going to change that. And third, you are married, to my best friend no less. And not only did what we do cheating, but I betrayed Haley in the worst possibly way and I refuse to do that to her again. This cannot happen Nathan, so just stop."

Lucas turned and slammed his locker shut, turning back in hopes that Nathan would have stepped away so that he could get by, leave, and forget everything that had happened. But as he turned, he realized that Nathan was even closer. In fact, his younger brother was now pinning him against his very own locker. "Nathan, move," Lucas' voice was quick and threatening as his eyes narrowed onto Nathan's baby blues.

"Not until we have talked this out Luke. I know all of those things you just said, alright. So maybe we aren't gay, maybe we are just bi-sexual, and there is nothing wrong with that. And we already went over the brother thing so I don't know why you keep bringing that up and as for Haley." Nathan stopped and looked at Lucas directly, not even budging an inch, "Well, she's on tour with Chris Keller, whom she left me for so don't really see us as married or even a couple anymore."

Lucas just stood still. With Nathan pinning him, there was very little he could actually do. So he listened to his brother speak and looked down, trying to make himself not agree with everything Nate was saying, even though partially he did.

Hearing Nathan sigh, Lucas looked back up just in time for Nathan to start back up again, "I know this is wrong, and it's unnatural and shouldn't feel right, but for some reason it does. At least for me it does and I know somehow it does for you too. You just don't want to admit it. And I know that on paper everything about it sounds like it would never work, but I felt something that night I hadn't felt in a while now and I'll be damned if I let it go and I know you felt it too." Nathan then leaned in and kissed Lucas passionately. At first Lucas just stood there and didn't move, half shocked that his brother was kissing him and half trying to hold back the urge to kiss him back with equal passion. Finally the better of the two got to him as Lucas found himself kissing Nathan back, his lips working against the brunettes as if they were made to fit that way.

Before he knew it, the kiss was over and Lucas was out of breath, along with Nathan. "Tell me you didn't feel that?" Breathless words fell from the younger Scott's mouth as he continued to stare at Lucas.

Lucas could feel his mouth going dry as no words formed to express how he felt about what had just happened or what it made him feel. Instead, fear jolted Lucas' body as the sudden urge to get out of the locker room filtered its way throughout every limber.

"I- I have to go," he finally got as out he pushed Nathan out of the way and almost ran out of the locker room and away from the school , even more confused than he was before, leaving Nathan alone in the darkened locker room.

TBC.

**Well lookie who finally got off their lazy ass and update his fanfic. Actually I just finished up my sophomore year of college so I had been quite busy and now have finally gotten a bit more free time. Well for now, work is going to start to kill me again, but I need the money and I'm rambling. Anyways, enjoy the new chapter and I hope it hasn't been so long that you forgot my story. Chapter four should be coming in a short bit, and it's got some voyeurism in it. Yes, this story is getting a bit kinky... So yes, enjoy and leave me a comment about what you think. Oh and btw, thanks to all those who left me reviews, you guys kick ass!  
**


	4. The Surprise

Well, what can I say, it's been a long ass time. But what can I say? Writer's block is a bitch. Anyways, here is chapter four. Hope you enjoy and as always, please leave me a comment telling me what you think.

* * *

Chapter 4 **  
**

Lucas couldn't sleep. His mind kept churning, images filling in the spaces that Lucas wished wouldn't. His sheets lay twisted in his lankly legs as he tossed and turned for hours on end. Finally given in to his restlessness, Lucas looked to the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand. The big red numbers glowed in the darkness of the room shone the time to be 3:45. Lucas groaned and placed the pillow over this head, hoping that it would drowned out the imagines that flooded his mind ever time he closed his eyes. But he knew it wouldn't. Nothing would until he dealt with them properly.

His eyes closed as his right hands slowly trailed its way down his chest and slim torso elating a moan to slip from his lips. Images of him and Nathan that night filled his mind. The way Nathan kissed him back, hard like he was the only thing in the world he needed. It was different from anything Lucas ever felt. More aggressive, yet soft and passionate at all the right times, it was unlike any kiss he and Peyton or Brooke had had.

His mind continued to wander as he thought back to the way Nathan's body felt against his. Hard yet surprisingly soft skin; Lucas never questioned it. His fingers lingered at the hem of his boxers as his mind continued to him kissing down Nathan's chest. His younger brother's taste was almost addictive, like a drug. He needed to have more.

Lucas' thumbs hooked the elastic of his boxers and pulled them down swiftly, his hardened cock springing out and slapping his toned abs, drooling with precum. He was so hard it hurt. Going back to his fantasy, Lucas was now slowly fucking his brother; each thrust into his brother's heat was like complete ecstasy. His hand now wrapped firmly against his throbbing member as he pumped it quickly. Each thrust in his fantasy brought him closer and closer to climax.

His hand was now a blur on his pole as he steadily jacked himself off to the image of him fucking Nathan. Suddenly Lucas was coming, hard and fast all over his hand and chest. His breath turned into pants as he just lay there in a post orgasmic haze before getting up and cleaning himself up, thinking about how he really needed to figure out what the hell was going on with him and deciding that maybe talking to Nathan would be a good thing.

Finally exhausted, Lucas fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

* * *

Sometimes you don't really know who you are until you have seen yourself in the eyes of someone else. And Nathan Scott firmly believed that.

He knew that it was possible to change if the right person came along and you saw the real you in their eyes, the way they saw you. It had happened to him twice now. The first time was with Haley. She knew that behind all the badass jock exterior lay a decent guy and low and behold that was the type of person he had slowly become when he was with her.

The second time it happened was with his brother, Lucas. Though he was drunk, he knew he saw something completely different in Lucas' eyes than he had ever seen before. Most of the time the two teenage Scotts only saw themselves as brother, but that night something changed. And Nathan really wasn't sure what he meant.

All he knew was that something in their relationship was different and not so brotherly anymore.

There was one thing that Nathan was sure of and that Lucas wanted him just as much as Nathan wanted him, blood relations aside. Whatever caused what happened that night had opened a whole new viewpoint for Nathan, a whole new feeling and he was not about to give that up just because Lucas was confused, or scared or whatever the hell he was. Nathan knew what he wanted and he had to plan to get it.

* * *

Lucas walked into the school library. He had finally decided that he and Nathan should talk, get everything out in the open since Lucas himself couldn't figure out what the hell was going on between the two. Only problem was that he hadn't seen Nathan all day. Despite the fact that he and Nathan had some of the same classes, Luke hadn't seen him. He even tried texting him, but Nathan didn't reply to any of them.

The only conclusion that Lucas could come up with now was that Nathan was the one avoiding him. Of course, that would make sense, now that he did want to talk about everything. Sitting down at one of the many computers in the library, Lucas signed in and opened a web browser. After checking his e-mail and other sites of that nature, he was about to log off when an IM bubble popped up on the screen. Curious, he sat back down at the computer and read each word carefully.

_Still thinking about me?_

Lucas looked around but didn't see anyone around. Intrigued, he started to type a response when another IM appeared.

_I can't stop thinking about that night._

Again, confused as to who was instant messaging him, he slowly typed a response.

_Nate, is that you?_

For a few minutes there was nothing but silence. Lucas wondered if he was going crazy, imagining everything, or maybe it was just some really fucked up dream and he would wake up any moment now. But then, the familiar IM bubble popped up again.

_Meet me in the History aisle right now. We need to talk._

Still utterly confused and just a bit curious about who was sending these instant messages to him, if they were meant from him at all, Lucas once again looked up and around the library but found himself again alone in the room. Now Lucas wasn't normally one to just go investigate something that he had no idea about, but this had hit too close to home. And with him not talking to Nathan about what had happened with them, he needed to know if it was indeed him.

Logging off of the computer and standing up, Lucas slowly made his way over to the history section of the library. Feeling completely crazy for even doing this, Lucas cautiously walked down the aisle, seeing that no one was there. Lucas chuckled to himself. This was just a prank; someone was just fucking around with him. He shook his head as he began to walk back up the aisle. Suddenly, an arm reached out and pulled him in between two of the gaps in the bookshelves.

Before Lucas could realize what was going on, a pair of lips was pressed against his in a heated kiss. His eyes closed automatically as he fell into the kiss before he realized what was going on and they opened back up. All he saw once his eyes were opened was a short crop of black hair that could only belong to his younger brother. Pulling away from the kiss, Lucas looked into Nathan's very similar blue eyes as he caught his breath from the intense kiss.

"Nathan, what the hell are you doing?" Lucas almost yelled before his brother placed a finger in front of his lips.

"Shh, we're in the library. Do you want us to get caught?" Nathan's face turned stern before his hands fell down below Lucas' waist as his brother quickly unzipping his jeans and slid his hand down the front, grasping Lucas' semi-cock.

"Nathan! What are you - -" Lucas suddenly then moaned softly as his brother started stroking his member, quickly bringing it back to life and to full hardness. Nathan could only smirk as he watched his older brother melt into him as he worked his hard cock. He leaned in, once again capturing his brother's soft lips and kissing him hard. Lucas moaned into the kiss, which gave Nathan the opportunity to slip his tongue into his sibling's mouth, exploring every inch of Lucas' mouth as he could.

Lucas, in full euphoria from his brother's menstruations, could only kiss Nathan back as hard as he could. In his mind, he couldn't believe what was happening. They were in the public library where anyone could walk around the corner and see them, while Nathan worked his dripping cock and they kissed as if they were dogs in heat.

Suddenly, there was coolness on his cock as Nate pulled it out of the hole that the unzipped jeans provided and then continued working it again. He could feel Nathan's own hard on against his leg as Nate grinded his groin against Lucas' leg. All he could do was moan into Nathan's lips as he kissed him and his hand sped up on his arching member.

Suddenly Lucas broke the kiss as he locked eyes on Nathan, "Nate, ah, shit, I'm about to cum; fuck, I'm going to cum." And before Lucas could even blink, Nathan was on his knees in front of Lucas and he felt a warm around the head of his cock as his hand worked faster than ever as he suckled Luke's head. Lucas held back his moan and bit his bottom lip as to not make too much noise as he came hard into his brother's waiting mouth.

Nathan kept sucking and stroking as Lucas unloaded into his mouth. Spurt after spurt filled his mouth, splashing against the back of his throat as he swallowed as fast as he could, not letting a drop fall from his lips. He slowed his strokes, milking Lucas for all he could as the last bit of cum dribbled on his tongue. Swallowing the last of his brother's load, Nathan gave the tip one last lick before he tucked Lucas back into his jeans and zipped him back up before returning back to a standing position.

Nathan leaned in and kissed Lucas, letting him taste himself on his tongue before breaking the kiss and standing back, smiling at his brother as he came down from his orgasmic haze. "Nate, that was - -"

"Amazing?" Nathan finished from him, smirking the whole time. "If you thought that was amazing, come by my apartment tonight and I'll show you something amazing." And with that, Nathan turned and walked down the aisle, leaving Lucas to figure out what the hell just happened. Before Lucas could wrap his mind around what had just occurred between him and Nathan, a voice sounded behind him.

"Funny and I thought I was the reason we broke up." Lucas' eyes widened as he turned around, completely stunned by who was standing behind him.


End file.
